Incredible, Uncomfortable God

 God is up to big things in this girl's world again. I know that He is always moving and working but its crazy when its the pieces of my puzzle that He chooses to pick up and put together in a way that will bring Him glory. 
For those of you who don't know already, God has been putting lots of little pieces together around me that are directing me towards studying at a different university next year. I'm only a sophomore here at Houghton and so I've been in that place of feeling like I've found my "niche" at last, and was beginning to settle in and get comfortable. Part of me wonders if that statement alone- "beginning to get comfortable" is the very reason why God is pointing me to somewhere else. I believe that God sometimes calls us to rest, always calls us to His arms, but never calls us to be comfortable. It is when we are not being challenged, not facing conflict in our lives that causes us to run to Him, that I question whether or not we are giving Him everything we are or not. To give you a little more background on this particular praise of God's faithfulness actually, I think I'll step back to the work He did in my world over Christmas break.
During my Christmas-New Years this year there were multiple close people in my life who passed away. The first was my beloved uncle and godfather- one of the people I considered myself closest to on my Dad's side of the family, and his sudden passing left everyone around him in complete shock. I was heartbroken and after coming out of a grueling fall semester at school, I was at the point of feeling both spiritually and emotionally dead. I was broken and weak, and soon I became physically ill as well due to all the tears that fell both from me and the emotions of those around me. 
Next a good friend from church passed away from cancer. We found this out the very day that our family trudged back home from my uncles funeral and so my brain did not take that very well. I became numb and mentally dead from the overwhelming nature of it all. By this point I was spiritually, emotionally, physically and even emotionally compromised. Not even just compromised- empty. I had nothing left and was so very broken. 
The night of the funeral for the friend from church, we received news that my dad's uncle had passed away as well. As I stood in my kitchen at home, waiting for the family to head to the church, my Dad walked up to me and asked if I was okay. I responded, "Dad, I was expecting and hoping to get rest over this break, and I've had exactly the opposite of that happen...I have nothing left in me." He held me in his arms as I cried that night, and we headed off to the calling hours with the numbness still hanging over me. People cried all around me but I felt nothing but guilt for not being more sad. As the service started, I noticed something right away. The point of this funeral was not to remain fixated on grief. The point of the funeral was to recognize that every single person in that room knew where our friend had gone. He was a man who was defined by his faith, by his family and overall, his deep trust in the Lord. The service focused on hope, and on having that same kind of trust that he had during his life. It was more than beautiful.
As we began to sing worship that night I spoke to God again saying, "Papa I still have nothing left..." and He responded, not in a voice but a realization- maybe that place of brokenness is exactly where I needed to be.
What I realized that night is something I had forgotten so rapidly over fall semester. That Christ is literally everything important, and therefore knowing Him means more than anything else. Surrendering to Him is as crucial as breathing. And listening for His voice is the most valuable time I could spend. I had come to the point of utter brokenness, and found that it was exactly the place where I most needed to be. 
After break wrapped up I came back to college under the impression that I would be remaining at Houghton until God clearly told me otherwise. The first few weeks of only science-related classes and I was in love with every bit of the material. It was encouraging and yet also confusing in light of the recognition that Houghton doesn't have a nursing program, yet God wanted me to stay here. So I just kept studying on.
Then few weeks ago, alot of little things began to hit me that hadn't before. First, my best friend here at school decided she was going to graduate after 3 years instead of four. I received an email from another school letting me know that all of my credits here at Houghton transfer to their program. My dad called to let me know Houghton was too expensive this year so we would need to take out a bigger loan for the first time. I looked up the school I would potentially transfer to and found out that not only was it 15 minutes from my grandparents house, I would be saving over $20,000 to attend there instead of here for next year. There were many other factors but all this to say- God started handing me the clarity I had been asking for and I started following. It hasn't been easy to get my head around, but as with most things God has done in my world, the peace He places in the midst of the uncertainty is more than enough to hold and comfort me.
I handed in my application and essay soon after. Here's an excerpt from what I wrote for the school:
"...As much as my heart is in science, nursing, and people, there is a difficult aspect to transferring from the school which I now attend into a "new world" all over again. To choose to be uprooted from my comfort zone, to adjust again to a new atmosphere, new faces, classrooms and professors. To step away from everything dearly loved and familiar into the brand-new unknown. In that sense, I am deeply saddened, yet not timid of this potential change. Because I know nursing is what I want to study, what I feel called to pursue, I am willing to step out into the unfamiliar and alter my world all over again in order to do so. I believe God has called me to the nursing field and I am excited to see where He takes me in that..."

When I started writing this post I was not expecting to share all of this with each of you. But as I wrote God guided my words deeper than I had thought they would go. I don't know if that was particularly for me, to be reminded again of the depth of His goodness, or maybe something He put on my heart spoke to you as well. Who knows. What I do know is that I serve a God who holds me in mighty hands. I pray that you might come to know His love and power in your own world. His not a "comfortable" God- I have come to learn that plainly. But He is more than worth it. I promise you that. 

Much love to whoever you are, where ever you are at. In Jesus' Name.

Escuela de Jesús y Selva Aventura

This week, I sit in amazement of Peru, and rightly so:)
Over last weekend, our work with the city teens and leaders came to a peak as we finally put on three VBS programs nearby. One was up in a hill next to the Buen Pastor church, one was out in a town called Chuchopompa, and the third was in a little village called Yanamayo. All three of them required us to work together with our local friends, lean on eachother and be extremely flexible as we poured our hearts into the kids we were teaching. Our theme was "¿Quién es Dios?" or "Who is God?" This was the question that the teens pointed out to us as crucial for the children to understand here- starting with the basics because chances were the children would know very little about Jesus, the Father, or the Bible. We started with games, performed a puppet show that the teens had written themselves, and then step by step explained who God was from the Bible story..."God is creator", "God is Just", "God is Jesus"....It was a blast, interactive, and more than anything a chance to do ministry alongside the teens that we've been building relationships with this summer. I sit smiling as I write, being reminded of their hearts for God and joy in doing whatever He invites them to do. The people here are precious.

The second big adventure we've had in the past few days was a trip to village of Agua de Nieve (Snow Water), a coffee-farming village out in the heart of the Peruvian jungle. It took three or four hours for us to get there, winding through the mountains and stunned speechless as we gazed out our windows. The grandeur was overwhelming, and by the time we reached our destination I was deeply humbled by the God who can move those same mountains. The people who hosted us were beautiful and so welcoming, showing us their crops, their way of life and their world. We were able to have dinner with the "Pastora" of the village who shared her testimony with us, as well as lunch the next day with another village friend who served us jungle fruit, fresh cheese and fried bananas. Everything from their own gardens and everything served, not out of abundance, but out of a sincere desire to bless us.  We also helped sort through bags of coffee beans in the local church and learned much about how hard these farmers work for the coffee they serve us- note: literally the best coffee I have ever tasted in my life. It was a precious adventure and time to really learn of J.R.'s ministry in agriculture there. It brought smiles to our faces as we paused along our way time and time again to greet another friend, another familiar face, listening to J.R. shouting out name after name and watching the brilliant smiles unfold on each face as they received that remembrance and love. Beautiful for countless reasons, Charis and I returned blessed to overflowing from our jungle journey.

We have exactly a week left in Peru as I write this. On one hand, it seems absurd that six weeks have flown by so fast. On the other hand, I can't believe that the abundance of things I've learned here could have been stuffed into that short of a time. The next few days are simply crammed with last moment adventures and goodbyes so we'll see if I have time to write again before our plane takes off. As for now, thank you for your prayers over the VBS programs, thank you for your prayers during our sickness, and above all please be praising God for the answers He has poured out in response to those petitions. You have blessed me richly- thank you for such beautiful love :)
In Jesus Christ,
Kelly

Hearts Open

14 Days left in Tarma, Peru. And its crunch time.

Last week was a fairly relaxed one for everyone here. Lots of learning with the conference, blessings in friendships and laughter etc. But this week is both a continuation of some ministries (Huaricolca, church) as well as the culmination of multiple things we've been working on with the teens and churches here- exciting and also overwhelming.
One thing coming up is a VBS program that we are planning to run at three separate places this weekend. One here in Tarma and two more a ways from the city in small farming villages. It has been so amazing to work alongside these passionate teens and be humbled by their heart for God. We started with asking what kinds of things the kids here don't know about God, or what would be best to teach about, then went step by step asking for their input, guidance and leadership as we pulled together a program. Needless to say I'm excited to see how this weekend will turn out :) Please be asking that the Holy Spirit would be at work, both in us and in the villages we travel to!

Its been sad thinking about leaving this place so soon. One of our friends walked into the church last night looking discouraged, and when we asked her what was wrong she leaned over to hug my shoulder and whispered "You are both leaving so soon. I don't want you to go." It was heartfelt and rung so true in our hearts as well. The relationsips and ministries we've been involved in have been beautiful and precious in countless different ways. The good news however is recognizing that we are brothers and sisters in Christ. We will see eachother again, whether on this earth or the next one. And besides, we still have two more weeks! I want to be here in this moment, heart open and eyes wide to see what more the Lord will do in 14 days. We wait in eager expectation:)

One last thing..Charis and I haven't been feeling the greatest these past couple days and with all thats going on it would be good to have the energy we need. Taking it easy today and we'll see if tomorrow looks any better :) Please keep us in your prayers!

Thank you again for all of your prayers this summer. So many have been answered and it has significantly grown my faith in our Father when I recognize His arm's reach. In healing, in focus, and in the times when I sense His smile and care through those I've encountered being here. I am beyond blessed by you:) Thank you.

Mosaic

Back in Tarma again :)

Holy goodness, this last week has been incredible. Charis and I have been overwhelmed by new blessings, new people and new places in the last few days and I would love to share those with you:

Sunday- In the morning Charis and I taught Sunday School at one of the local churches (andof course by "we" I mean Charis spoke and I colored:), and were then picked up by a couple friends to head out into the countryside for a baptism service. The spot was out a little ways from town at the mountains' foothills, surrounded by fields and farmlands and covered in a brilliant summer sunshine. The wind kept us cool as we sang and rejoiced overthe new births taking place in the "río pequeño" below us. One of our closest girlfriends and the pastor's son were both baptized, as well as a couple others. Afterwords, we shared a "small" picnic together under the startling blue sky, singing and laughing and simply rejoicing in what the Lord has done. It is a memory I will never forget :)

Monday- Charis and I headed out to a city a few hours away to take part in the last few days of a missionary conference which the Crouse family (our host) has been taking part in the last two weeks. We arrived Monday night and took part in all of the seminars on...

Tuesday- It was powerful to be "surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses" as we learned, shared and celebrated together about all that God has been showing us in the past two weeks. We talked mostly about cultural values and how to not only step into another country, but also to learn from their culture, recognizing how we often taint Jesus' message with our own background and perspectives, and learning how to avoid that. So many things that were shared helped Charis and I pull together the different things we've observed these past few weeks, both about Tarma and also about ourselves. I realized that part of my American mentality is to be defined by what I do, what my job is, and that when stepping into another culture (aka Peru) it has felt crippling to not have something specific to be doing. But as I recognized the fact that that is okay in the past two weeks, I've also come to realize that it is a really good thing that we are not necessarily needed for something specific here. Thats healthy. We need eachother as brothers and sisters in Christ, to learn from, to grow with, and to work alongside, but other than that, these past few weeks have been about relationships with the people around us more than us doing anything for them. And it is in that kind of relationship and connection building that we really begin to see the face of Christ. An incredible mosaic built of innumerable broken, tainted pieces, which only begin to show the grand beauty when they are placed side by side. Alone these pieces are only fragments, but together, they create the closest imitation of Christ we will ever be priviledged to see here on earth.
 
Wednesday- Tonight at church Charis, myself, J.R. and Becky have been invited to share what we learned from our time at the conference. A little nervous to speak in front of a congregation in Spanish but I pray that through my broken attempt at least God will recieve the glory we're trying to give Him.

One more thing- I just wanted to share something the conference speaker finished our last session with. God is so good and I am feeling more encouraged by His correcting and guidance every day. Thanks for reading and please continue to keep us and Tarma in your prayers!

"Though I speak in the dialect of the people I serve and can preach with the eloquent power of a fiery evangelist; though as a surgeon I can operate with skill; though as an agriculturalist I can raise high-grade river rice; though as a teacher I can deliver spell-binding, learned lectures, but do not have love, my message is empty...
Love, if it is genuine in the life and work of a missionary, is patient and constructive; it does not seek for position and prestige. Love is glad to see a competent national in charge, and envies not. Love seeks to train an indigenous leadership; it does not cherish inflated ideas of its own importance; it is never anxious to impress. Love tries to identify with people and is never arrogant or ethnocentric...
Unless we are prepared to adapt and change, we shall have defenders of an old system but no new voice; institutional caretakers but no truth seekers; we shall have preachers but no prophets. We shall keep the bush primly pruned by hired gardeners using expensive equipment, but within the bush there will be no burning fire...
Love that trusts like little children never fails. Large institutions may cease; even heavily subsidized schools and colleges that impart knowledge may close. And if wisdom gained there fails to lead students to Christ the Savior, it would be better to entrust such education to the government; for our knowledge is always incomplete without Him who is "the Way, the Truth, and the Life." Love that has no other desire but to trust, never fails...
Be sure of this: institutions will pass away, but labor wrought by hands which have shared with those in need, and proclaimed the message of the saving love of Christ, who died and rose again and lives as Lord of Life, will never, never pass away. In this life there are only three enduring qualities: Faith, Hope and Love; these three. But the greatest of these is Love."
-Meditations of a Missionary, by Blaise Levai

Mustard Seeds

"The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a sower took and planted in his field. Mustard seeds are minute, tiny-but the seeds grow into trees. Flocks of birds can come and build their nests in the branches." -Jesus                                             
So last week I was very discouraged here in Tarma. I was overwhelmed by the hurt that I saw in the world surrounding me, struggling with the frustration of a language barrier and not knowing what the Lord wanted me to do or how to help. This city is so broken, torn by broken relationships and struggling to get by. Lonely children, fathers and mothers who know little to nothing about a God who created them for a love relationship with Him. As Charis and I have been working with a village tutoring program as well as planning a VBS framework alongside a group of teens, its heartbreaking to see the reality that children simply do not understand they can know a Savior, a Heavenly Father who will not leave them, and a best friend. After teaching sunday school this past sunday, Charis and I were walking through the local supermarket when a little girl walked in front of us, pointed to our Bibles and asked "Do you know about God? Can you tell me about Him?" There is hurt here- but at the same time, there is a very great hope for healing, for new life. What has been difficult for me is seeing this hurt on one hand and hope on the other, and yet remaining held back by a barrier of language I am only beginning to understand. Its beautiful to watch Charis explain who Jesus is in a supermarket, or translate pieces of a sermon so I can better understand. But that doesn't help answer the question, "Lord God, why on earth am I here?"

Earlier this week, Charis let me take a look at a new translation of the Bible she has been reading, called "The Voice". Skeptical at first, I looked over the way this translation had been written and was incredibly surprised not only by its accuracy and care but by its attention to the passion of God's Word. I felt as if I were a dry sponge wanting to soak up as much of Gods Word as my energy would let me, and had soon flown through Matthew, learning new things on every page.

As I was reading Matthew 13 on Saturday, God pointed out the verse above to me which had never really caught my attention before, though I'm sure my eyes have looked over it more times than I can count. It pointed out that God's kingdom isn't just about big things or huge projects. It isn't about long sermons or the perfect program. Yes, God can and does use those things. But at the same time, the Lord loves to use the mustard seeds of our faith. The smallest things that come simply from being faithful and full of trust. I mean, who knows, maybe I will fly out of Peru having mastered the art of holding a conversation in Spanish. Probably not. But what God pointed out so clearly is that being in this new place is not so much about the words that I can speak as much as being full of Him, and faithful with what I have been given. Faithful in planting mustard seeds, among His children, in His garden.

This city is still broken, and pieces of it will remain broken until Christ comes back to earth. But I'm learning that God can still bring healing to the small, intimate places of this city, and that He doesn't need my skillset to use me in that. He desires for us to be faithful where ever He has us, and to keep trusting He has a plan for our littlest acts of faith. God is here in Tarma, as He is whereever you are. Please be praying with me for His seeds to take root, and for His love to shine brightly as we listen. Thanks for your prayers so far- Jesus is answering :)

God is at work here in Tarma. And its really obvious.
:D Praise His Name.
Thank you so much for all of your prayers so far- He is hearing, and He is certainly answering.
Please be praying for us this week that the Holy Spirit would continue to be working powerfully...
and I'll share more later :)

Much love,
-Kelly

"We know by experience that His promises are good and that He is abundantly able to supply our needs out of His storehouse where He keeps universes, worlds, moons, stars. In His other storehouse He has grace unbounded, billows of love on oceans of care for His own, mountains of patience and other good things abundantly above all that we can ask or think. Isn't it a crime that we are often so slow to accept these gifts?" -Nate Saint
          

Walking through the city

 So I am beginning to fall in love with this place. It’s been really striking to me the past couple days to see the ways that J.R. and Becky are so connected to this place, these people. We drive around the city running errands and pass five or so people at the very least who recognize and greet them warmly. This city is small enough to be very personal, but not so small that it is claustrophobic. I’m beginning to see the beauty in the buildings and faces as well as the mountains which surround us. This city is precious and beautiful. And I am beyond thankful to be here :)

The past few days have been full and wonderful…yesterday we did a fair amount of work around the house here, including building a little gate to put up below the stairs of our bungalow to keep the puppies out at night. We built it completely out of recycled materials and it turned out wonderfully :) Not huge projects, but continuing to learn about and build relationships with the girls here by doing life together. Charis and I found out yesterday that we will not be moving up higher into the mountains but rather sticking around here in Tarma and just going up to Huaricolca to visit and help with the youth group when they need us. I’m really so excited about this change of plans because it means we will be closer to those we have been building relationships with already, still be able to speak Spanish 24/7 with Rosey the housekeeper, and have so many more opportunities to plug in to ministries here in the city. Continuing to learn to lay down expectations and watch as God makes plans far better than our own :) As J.R. and Becky would say “Make sure to drink your flexi-juice.”



Teaching Sunday School this morning :)

As for today, in the morning  one of the local pastors stopped by after breakfast and talked with us about all sorts of different ministries we will be able to join in with over the next few weeks. So many opportunities! Things such as…running multiple VBS programs with the help of the local youth group; giving our testimonies of why we want to be here in Tarma to one church; leading childrens Sunday school in another…the list goes on. It seems like everywhere I turn, God is opening one more door, tacking on one more blessing.

For example, tonight Charis and I attended the final seminar for a youth conference which is going on just around the corner here. Three children came and picked us up from the house to show us the way and it was such a blast to just walk and talk and even ask questions in Spanish. Not to mention, after arriving at the worship service, we all ate dinner together and a couple girls we walked with asked me if I would tell them my story, my testimony. So for the first time in my life, I shared my entire testimony in another language :) Holy cow-God is crazy powerful. I think this held even more meaning for me because not 24 hours before, Charis and I had been talking about how discouraged I was by this language because all I want to do is learn and connect and I’ve felt trapped by my lack of knowledge. But today God opened multiple doors for me to lean on His strength and humbly speak the best I was able. Realizing that God doesn’t need my eloquence to have His Holy Spirit at work  both in me as well as those around me was extremely humbling as well as needed. I’m so thankful for His encouragement and ability to use the little I have.

So many blessings, so many opportunities. So that His Name may be glorified and not mine :) Lord you are so good.