Have you ever realized that the busyness of our lives can be a wall? That it can be a security blanket or shield or whatever else you want to call it? I feel as if someone must have told me this along the way somewhere in life, but it never really hit me until just today. I really don't know what to do with myself when I am not busy.
A friend of mine went to Africa last year, and has tried to explain to me what it feels like to have hours to spend with God, soaking up His creation and having no other commitments than simply building relationships, reveling in life and admiring the breath-stealing creation God has placed around us. I remember telling her how jealous I was, how much I would love to know what that felt like in my own life, but I didn't think much deeper than that.
This week I have three days with no classes, and the days which I do have class are minimal in the amount of work I need to turn in. It seems like this moment would be something to make me jump up and down and simply rejoice in, considering I've been asking God for this mini-vacation for so incredibly long now. But when I looked at my schedule yesterday afternoon and saw nothing recorded for the next two days, I have to admit a little bashfully- I felt slightly anxious. The thoughts began running through my head- What if I really take that time to rest and then I can't get back on track? What if I look back on these few days and realize how much work I could have done instead of being lazy? What if I spend my time wastefully, instead of being productive? What if I miss this chance to be more like whats-her-name?
It might seem ridiculous, but I didn't feel free. I felt vulnerable.
By nature my personality has always thrived on being busy. I've rejoiced in checking things off to-do lists and being successful, but haven't always striven to work as if for the Lord.
"So no matter what your task is, work hard. Always do your best as the Lord's servant, not as man's, because you know your reward is the Lord's inheritance. You serve the Lord, the Anointed One." Col. 3:23-24 (The Voice)
I guess when I hear that verse, I usually think of spending every last ounce of energy to make sure I meet some kind of mark. And then when whatever success I have reached is not "everything I could have done" or achieved, I feel as if I have let my Savior down. What a blatant lie this is! My God is not held up or let down by the things I see as successes or failures. He doesn't need me for that. He doesn't need my busy schedule. Or my "connections" to the right people and places. He doesn't need my standing among my peers or rapport with my professors. I don't have to be successful in any way to make Him proud of me. My Savior rejoices in my stillness.
"Be still, be calm, see, and understand I am the True God. I am honored among all the nations. I am honored over all the earth."-Psalm 46:10(The Voice)
There is a false security and safety net that I have found in the center of being busy. I recognize now why my God gave me a period of rest- not simply so I could continue on being so busy, but so I could remember how important it is to rest. I believe He called me to a few days of rest not so I could be more comfortable, but so that I could recognize my own discomfort. My source of security and worth which wasn't Him. He called me to rest so that I could actually wake up.
Wherever this day finds you, whether you're caught in a whirlwind of comparison, silent competition, or wrapped in the middle of a margin-less life, I pray that you would choose the time to pause. Not just another check on that list of yours. Not a way you can be more successful. But a way that you can stop and see your need for something deeper. Let yourself be vulnerable in a way which I have struggled to. Choose. To. Just. Sit. Still.
May we find the courage to rest, and the humility to be still. In Jesus' strength.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Minty Kisses
God is so good :) I am in love. And believe it or not, chemistry is not the end of my world. Who knew?
This week started out tough, coming off a break which was slightly-less-than-restful and having a perspective on my world which included mentally surviving just the given day. I was cranky (at least in my head) and to be honest the one thing that reminded me to keep looking to God was a close friend asking, "Are you where God wants you to be?" and "Are you doing the absolute best you can under the circumstances?".... and me responding with a slightly reluctant, but honest, "Yes".
Tuesday morning I woke up and went to spend time with God by reading a devotional which directed me towards Romans 8:28 which goes like this-
"We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan."
Beautiful, right? It was to me, although a little humbling too as I recognized I hadn't been consciously taking God up on this truth over the past week. Then my eyes drifted to earlier in the chapter, where Paul is talking about sufferings- its beautiful, so I'll put it in here too-
"Now I'm sure of this: the sufferings we endure now are not even worth comparing to the glory that is coming and will be revealed in us...when our adoption as children of God is complete"
When I read this, a smile broke onto my face as I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend the other day. Now, this friend of mine absolutely hates mint. He hates the taste of it, hates the smell of it, and especially hates the way it feels...lungs mouth, whatever. So when I was talking with him the other day, I asked what would happen if or when his girlfriend went to kiss him with minty breath. He thought for a second and then responded, "Kelly, my dislike for mint is not even in the same category as my desire for her kisses. They literally don't even compare." And I laughed out loud :)
I remembered this conversation in light of my devotion because I realized that my love for my Savior and desire to "accept His invitation" should not have even been in the same category of the difficulties or struggles (or chemistry) that I have been facing. I realized that in light of the love of Christ, all my obstacles were nothing more than "minty kisses". Connected, but not comparable. It really made me smile and laugh, which I think is God's way of letting us know how much we are loved sometimes.
May you be able to see whatever difficulties or trials that you are in the midst of this week as minty kisses, and may you be able to reach out from wherever you are and recognize the deepest love He has for you in return. Unexplainable and yet simple. Bowl-you-over, yet the only thing keeping you standing up. Contagious. Breath-altering. And beautiful beyond words. That is a love beyond comparison. That, my siblings, is the love of our God. May you know it today.
Love and blessings in Christ wherever this finds you.
-Kelly
This week started out tough, coming off a break which was slightly-less-than-restful and having a perspective on my world which included mentally surviving just the given day. I was cranky (at least in my head) and to be honest the one thing that reminded me to keep looking to God was a close friend asking, "Are you where God wants you to be?" and "Are you doing the absolute best you can under the circumstances?".... and me responding with a slightly reluctant, but honest, "Yes".
Tuesday morning I woke up and went to spend time with God by reading a devotional which directed me towards Romans 8:28 which goes like this-
"We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan."
Beautiful, right? It was to me, although a little humbling too as I recognized I hadn't been consciously taking God up on this truth over the past week. Then my eyes drifted to earlier in the chapter, where Paul is talking about sufferings- its beautiful, so I'll put it in here too-
"Now I'm sure of this: the sufferings we endure now are not even worth comparing to the glory that is coming and will be revealed in us...when our adoption as children of God is complete"
When I read this, a smile broke onto my face as I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend the other day. Now, this friend of mine absolutely hates mint. He hates the taste of it, hates the smell of it, and especially hates the way it feels...lungs mouth, whatever. So when I was talking with him the other day, I asked what would happen if or when his girlfriend went to kiss him with minty breath. He thought for a second and then responded, "Kelly, my dislike for mint is not even in the same category as my desire for her kisses. They literally don't even compare." And I laughed out loud :)
I remembered this conversation in light of my devotion because I realized that my love for my Savior and desire to "accept His invitation" should not have even been in the same category of the difficulties or struggles (or chemistry) that I have been facing. I realized that in light of the love of Christ, all my obstacles were nothing more than "minty kisses". Connected, but not comparable. It really made me smile and laugh, which I think is God's way of letting us know how much we are loved sometimes.
May you be able to see whatever difficulties or trials that you are in the midst of this week as minty kisses, and may you be able to reach out from wherever you are and recognize the deepest love He has for you in return. Unexplainable and yet simple. Bowl-you-over, yet the only thing keeping you standing up. Contagious. Breath-altering. And beautiful beyond words. That is a love beyond comparison. That, my siblings, is the love of our God. May you know it today.
Love and blessings in Christ wherever this finds you.
-Kelly
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